


Narrows Home for Boys

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV), Oz (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Explicit Language, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Jim's abandoned and Harvey's mother dies; both of them end up in the Narrows Home for Boys run by Father Sean Murphy.





	Narrows Home for Boys

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are my own. Any kudos, criticisms, comments and suggestions welcome. I need more plot ideas for Gordlock.
> 
> To my wife: Never fear, we'll get through this I promise.

He stayed at the house until the police caught him stealing bread and peanut butter and contacted child services. It was humiliating to be driven home to the apartment tenement and escorted through the corridor. To have the neighbors see the police escort and peer out their doors in curiosity; a few even brazen enough to step out into the hallway and gawk. It was far worse having to explain to the officers just why all the rooms in the apartment were empty except his own bedroom.

 

“Where’s your father?”

 

Barely holding the tears of shame Jim answered, “He’s dead.”

 

“Where’s your mother?”

 

“I **don’t** know. I came home from school and she and my brother were gone. Everything was gone.”

 

Ever since Jason Gordon had died two years prior in a car crash, things had gone from bad to worse in the Gordon family. Jim had been in the car with his father at the time and suffered some horrific injuries of his own. It took every cent the family savings had; and then some; to pay for most of the physical rehabilitation Jim required to heal. Their grand house in Gotham Heights was sold, his mother lost her job and the bills began piling up as they moved into the apartment tenement. His mother and older brother were distant, blaming Jim for the financial woes of the family as well as Jason’s death. Tiring of him and their new impoverished lifestyle Nora and Roger Gordon merely left. No note of explanations, no monetary support, merely vanished one day never to return.

 

“I better call this in.”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed. “To whom? You’re the police, and already know.”

 

“Child Services because you’re a minor, now stand against that wall and don’t move until I say.”

 

Teeth grinding, jaw clenching, he obeyed. At fourteen-years-old Jim Gordon’s life was officially out of his own hands.

 

Father Sean Murphy was a Marine, ex-cop that was ordained in the priesthood later in life. He didn’t prey on children, but rather sought to help troubled teens.  He was tough, brisk, surprisingly gentle hearted and sensitive to other’s needs. Yet above all he was no nonsense and could identify a liar from miles away. Through a generous donation from the Martha Wayne children’s foundation, he had been able to build, begin, and maintain the first ever boys home from troubled teens in the Narrows. There were only twenty beds so that Father Murphy could give each child the attention required to put them back on a path to productive, successful, and fulfilling lives. Currently he was running at half that capacity as Narrow’s gangs were absorbing his would-be charges. Murphy’s original business plan was to be a warren of neighborhood run safe houses, but unfortunately Martha Wayne had been murdered thus placing all developments of the foundation on indefinite hold. The NBH; and father Murphy; soldiered on and now was admitting a very quiet, intelligent teen, seething with a dark anger and deep seeded abandonment issues.

 

“You religious at all Jim?” Jim shook his head and uttered a near silent, ‘no sir’ before pressing his lips together. Murphy nodded and placed a firm, yet gentle hand upon Jim’s shoulder eliciting eye contact. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not a hard sell so don’t worry; I won’t cram god down your throat at every turn. Maybe one or two though.” He winked at Jim, his brown eyes shining with good humor. He noted a shift in Jim’s stoic features toward emotion, as well as felt a little push into his palm. Murphy patted Jim’s shoulder and withdrew his hand. “Welcome to your new home.”

 

Jim’s stomach dropped, filled with shards of lead. He wanted to vomit, scream in terror, and run. To where? Did it really matter? Not much did since his father’s death. Jim had not even been at the funeral because he was in hospital due to the severity of his injuries. He had been to his father’s grave marker since, cried like a little kid and wanted to curl up by the tombstone and never move again. Yet he had been scolded by his mother to act his age and stand up straight. He was making a scene and she wouldn’t be embarrassed by his childish tantrum; it was unseemly.

 

He followed Father Murphy around the house, was introduced to the few other children there, shown which bed was his own, and allowed to unpack his meager belongings into his own small trunk at the foot of his bed. Jim merely placed his entire athletic bag full of clothes, toiletries, and a few mementos of his father; and closed the lid. He then sat on his bed and read the list of house rules on the piece of paper he had been given; yet found them to be identical to the recital that Father Murphy had granted him. He sighed heavily and folded the list and placed it underneath his pillow for later. He rose and went back downstairs to the main living chamber and proceeded to watch all the other kids.

 

Day’s passed, and Jim found the structure of his life at the NBH comforting. He adapted well to the house, it’s routine and rules. While he didn’t enjoy having to attend church on Sundays, it was a small concession to make over all for free room and board. He was beginning to construct tentative relationships with the other kids at the home, and one twelve-year-old; Stanley; accompanied Jim off property so that he could introduce him to his girlfriend, Ivy Pepper.  To Stanley she was not only ‘super cool’ but she was also ‘super pretty’. Jim was polite and gave her a small smile when the three of them crossed paths.

 

Ivy Pepper was a rail thin, tall for her age, girl; with long, red, matted hair, a dirty porcelain complexion and a ratty green and white banded sweater that engulfed her. She was a street child of the Narrows; free to run wild and survive as she could. Jim knew that all for the grace of Father Murphy he would be such a homeless child. Without shelter, security of any type and never know what dumpster his next meal would come from. Ivy was a bright little girl; tough, and she only barely tolerated Stanley and his affections. Jim however, she liked immediately, told him he was cute and asked him if he knew anything about Apocynum cannabinum (dogbane). When he told her he did not, but questioned her further about it, she beamed and recited off facts about the plant with great passion. Stanley; clearly upset by this development; stormed off leaving Jim alone with his beloved to wander back on his own to the NBH.

 

“Don’t worry about him.” Ivy informed Jim when he called after Stanley and made a move to go and catch up with him. It was Ivy’s hand upon his wrist that stopped him in his tracks. Her green eyes seemed to glow as she bade him, “Stay and play with me?”

 

“But I don’t know how to get back to the Boys Home.”

 

“There? Oh, I do. I’ll show you. Will you stay _now_?” The hope in her gaze was infections and Jim granted her a little smile.

 

“For a little while. But only as friends, alright?”

 

“What else would we be?” Ivy chirped letting go of his hand. “Come on. I’ll show you the best game ever.” Jim granted Stanley one final glance and then followed Ivy through the alley towards the Gotham port, less than a mile away. They passed a warehouse she said lots of kids squatted at, and that he was welcome to as well if he got tired of the NBH. “They’re supposed to have one for girls, but it never happened, like most things in this city for girls.” Ivy rolled her eyes and looked at Jim. “I bet the Nuns with their rulers would have been mean anyway.” She shrugged and lead Jim around the side of the warehouse and to an area where there were some stacked pallets, empty metal barrels and a large tarp making what looked like a tent of some design. “Come on Jim. It won’t bite. I don’t either; unless you’re mean to me.” She smirked smugly at him and held back a flap of the tarp. “Go on.”

 

Jim ducked into the tent and was amazed by what he saw. There were little pots and various recycled materials acting as plant holders. The tarp was creating a green house effect for the thriving little jungle that Ivy insisted she made all by herself. “I like plants.” She stated passionately motioning around. She grabbed Jim by the wrist once more and yanked him in the direction of a very formidable looking fern. “I’ll introduce you!” For the next half hour Ivy took him from pot to pot and introduced her ‘little lovelies’ to him one by one. First with their scientific name, common moniker, and then what she had called them out of love. Jim endured the presentation, feigning interest and listening to her diatribe on the evils of pollution and global warming to her little lovelies. “I hate humans sometimes! I hate them, I **hate** them!” She stomped her feet as she shouted and then came back to herself, sheepishly apologizing to Jim for her behavior. “My father yelled a lot and it’s scary. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay Ivy.” Jim assured her. “I wasn’t scared.” Ivy beamed at him and for the next half hour he was subjected to her pointing from plant to plant asking him what their names were. Sometimes he could answer with the scientific or common name; a few he even got right; but mostly all he could remember were the names she had bestowed them with. Regardless of his shaky success record, Ivy was over joyed with his participation and even gave him a quick hug; as friends she insisted; when they had gone through the process twice.

 

“You’re really good at that game Jim. Have you played before?”

 

Jim shook his head. “But I don’t mind playing again sometime.” Ivy clapped her hands and bounced on the balls of her feet in joy. “It’s getting a little late,”

 

“First I have to take you and introduce you to the wild kids.” She urged interrupting his polite bowing out of her company. “Come on!” She ran out of the tent and Jim had to hurry to follow her. She slowed once she realized he was there and lead him to an entrance to the warehouse that all the kids used to come and go. Jim was impressed by the makeshift living quarters the kids had made from the empty storage space of the building. There were tents and raised forts, mattresses and bed bundles out in full view. Kids were everywhere, giving him suspicious looks and some even saying hi and introducing themselves. Through it all Ivy babbled at him and took him to the little corner where she slept. He helped her raise her own tarp and make her area more like a cubby, and she hugged Jim in gratitude once more. After sitting there for a few minutes listening to her babble about life in the warehouse and on the streets, she asked him a few questions and Jim gently prompted her that he needed to go back to the NBH.  “Okay, I’ll show you.” She took Jim’s hand and lead him out of the cubby, through the warehouse and back to the street. She released his hand and they began walking in the vague direction he had come with Stanley. Jim kept a sharp eye out regarding their surroundings to map out the way for future visits to Ivy as they walked. She took him a little bit of a different route; easier and faster; then Stanley had, and Jim began to relax once the building was in sight.

 

“Thanks Ivy. I had a really nice time with you and meeting the lovelies.”

 

“See?” She said poking him a little hard in the stomach. “Not all boys are mean or stupid.” She waved at him and turned around leaving him on the steps of the home. “Bye!” She trotted off as he called after her, and Jim took a deep breath. He felt sorry for the little girl, but in a way, he also envied her, her freedom.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey Bullock was trying to keep his two little sisters and brother fed and safe. It was a lot to place on the shoulders of a fifteen-year-old, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to, to some degree. His other five siblings were old enough that they were out of the system. They were petitioning for guardianship, but the wheels of bureaucracy were turning all too slowly to keep him, the girls and his brother fed. They had run away, rather then be placed in child services and separated. Bullocks stuck together and always had. Ever since his father had been kicked out of the house years ago and his mother; Grace; had raised the children on her own. That was until she died of breast cancer earlier that year. Harvey had been closest to her of the nine children, but the necessity to care for his younger siblings out weighed his ability to grieve. Instead he became angry and determined not to let anything happen to Sibeal, Tana and Declan. They had found the squatting warehouse and set up camp, laid low and battled to survive. There had been a couple of fights, Harvey and Sibeal doing most of the protecting, while little Tana and Declan did what they could to aid in the fight. The teens that had picked on the Bullocks learned to keep their distance and Harvey even began to catch a few hours of sleep a night, no longer solely upon watch duty.

 

It was one such night that they came; the police in a raid that had all the kids scattering in the commotion, crying and screaming and fighting their best to escape the sweep of cops storming the warehouse. While Harvey might not have understood that the raid came because the current Mayor of Gotham was looking for a reelection platform to tug at heartstrings of Gothamites, he understood the need to keep his siblings together. They held hands and moved in a pack towards perceived safety, only to be blocked up by a duo of cops staking out the exit source. Harvey cursed and told his siblings to scatter but it was too late. The youngest wanted to stay with him and Sibeal tried but was grabbed by one of the policemen.

 

The swam of children were loaded into GCPD vans and taken to the station house, where they were questioned by the staff and child services for processing. The Bullock quartet held their tongues and sat cross armed, glaring, and refusing to speak. Once they were put together at last, did CPS managed to get their names out of them. The real battle came when CPS went to separate the four, all of them erupting instantly into a melee and using whatever came to hand to fend off well meaning cop or CPS agent alike. There was yelling, kicking, scratching, screaming, punching, biting and even hair pulling enough to get Harvey arrested for battery and the three younger Bullocks dragged off with child services and the other retained children.  Harvey had his face pressed down to a desk, his arms wrenched up behind his back and a forearm across his shoulder blades pushing him against the hard surface of the desk top. He watched his siblings being dragged off, calling, crying and reaching for him, his heart breaking that he could not get away to rescue them.

 

He was thrown into a holding cell with the rest of the teens wanted for various crimes where he waited to be processed. Upon finding that he had no criminal record, a kind-hearted police woman phoned Father Murphy to see if he had an available bed. He waited in the cell for a good portion of the night when Father Murphy showed up to escort him back to the NBH and settle him in with the other boys.  Harvey was sullen and snarky when he was forced to talk and even begged Father Murphy for news on his siblings. Father Murphy explained to Harvey that if anything he would only be able to house Declan as the facility was for boys, and he would contact CPS in the morning. This placated Harvey enough to stow his attitude for the time being. Once they reached the facility, Father Sean recited the rules for him, gave him a Xeroxed copy of the same and escorted him upstairs. He pointed out the location of the bathroom and then quietly lead him into the dorm room to show him to his bed for the night. In low tones he told Harvey to get some sleep and that they would speak later in the morning.  Two minutes later everyone in the house was awakened by the sound of the window alarm blaring. Sheepishly, Harvey brought his leg back inside of the window frame and gave the other boys a slight wave in acknowledgement. Murphy was there in an instant and grabbed Harvey by the arm and walked him quickly out of the room. One of the boys closed and latched the window, and a several seconds later the alarm silenced.

 

“Where’s he taking him?” Jim asked looking from the now empty hallway to the other boys, who were in the process of settling back down for the night.

 

Stanley frowned. “The cot probably. It’s in Father Murphy’s room and it’s usually for the really sick kids.”

 

“Or the ones that try to escape.” Another boy offered rolling over to show his back to Jim to signal that there had been enough questions asked.

 

Jim looked back into the hallway and saw the light dim. He lay back down in his bed and tried to envision what the cot situation would be like. And it was in Father Murphy’s private room? Wasn’t that inappropriate? Jim felt worried and knew that he would have to investigate further that morning. For now, he drifted off to sleep also wondering what the new member of the home was like, or even his name.

 

Breakfast was equal parts chaotic as it was ordered. The division between the two extremes occurred at the junction that everyone walked into the kitchen area, to when they were sat in the dinning room.  Jim felt Harvey’s gaze upon him and while Father Murphy said grace, he looked up from his plate to meet Harvey’s light, green eyes. He was studying Jim, as if sizing up an opponent of some kind. Jim quickly dropped his eyes to his own plate and wondered if there was going to be trouble between the two of them. There was a reminder of rules during the breakfast discussions, as well as introductions to Harvey. Harvey seemed indifferent to most of the other boys, but during the washing up following breakfast, Harvey sought out Jim.

 

“Hey!” Harvey grabbed Jim by the shoulder and turned him around to face him. “I’ve seen you. At the warehouse. Did they get you too?”

 

Confusion furrowed Jim’s brow. “No. I mean, I didn’t live there. I was just visiting a friend. Ivy Pepper. Do you know her?”

 

Harvey rolled his gaze. “Yeah, because every kid in the warehouse knows all the others. No. I don’t know her. But how long have you been here?”

 

“About three weeks.” Jim elected to ask a few questions of his own. “What happened last night after Father Murphy took you away?”

 

“We went to his room and he made sweet, sweet, love to me.” Harvey frowned. “Nothing happened, that’s what. He talked to me about escaping and the streets, then I had to go to sleep on a cot across the room from his bed. It was nothing. Why?”

 

Jim shook his head a little. “I just wondered.”

 

“Were you worried about me Jimmy?” Harvey asked surprised.

 

Jim’s jaw tightened. “It’s **Jim** , and I dunno. _Maybe_.” He shrugged his left shoulder and looked away from Harvey.

 

“Do you think Father Murphy is a pedophile?”

 

Jim looked horrified at the question. “No. I don’t. It’s just nice to have those suspicions laid to rest with the present evidence.”

 

Harvey huffed at Jim with a grunt. “You’re a funny one Jim. Trying to be a lawyer some day or somethin’?”

 

“Something. That still doesn’t change the fact that nothing happened to you last night after your escape attempt when you were alone with him.”

 

“Yeah well, respect is earned, and it looks like to me that you wanna respect this priest. So, go ahead. Take the leap of faith. To me he seems on the up and up and I’m an excellent judge of character.”

 

“I’m not as confident in my abilities in that as you.”

 

“Is that sarcasm I hear Jim?” Jim shrugged with a sweet smile. Harvey clapped a hand back down upon his shoulder. “So, I get to go off campus as it were, if I’m accompanied by someone that’s been here a while.”

 

Jim immediately recognized where the conversation was headed. “I haven’t been here long enough to do that.”

 

“It’s a matter of time my friend. And when you can? I’m gonna go see my little brother and sisters.” Harvey slid his hand off Jim’s shoulders and explained the previous night with Declan, Sibeal and Tana. “Father Murphy say’s he’ll call CPS but, they’re not gonna let me see them if they’ve been put into foster care. If they’re in the facility I have a chance. Can I depend on your help?”

 

Jim bit his bottom lip quickly. “Let’s see what Father Murphy has to say about their situation before I commit myself to anything.”

 

Harvey rubbed a hand over his face and groaned. “You’re killing me Jim. Just agree to help me and I’ll owe you a huge favor in return. That squid pro go, or whatever.”

 

“Quid pro quo.” Jim corrected with a smile. He didn’t laugh or make fun of Harvey, he merely informed him of the correct wording. “And I’ll help you.”

 

Harvey beamed. “Atta boy, Jim. You won’t regret it.” At that moment Jim didn’t feel he would.

 

True to his word, Father Murphy called child services and inquired about Harvey’s three siblings. The girls were being designated to foster care, however they would be going to the same home, but thus far Declan was in limbo. Father Murphy requested a transfer to his facility, and the appropriate paper work was begun. Harvey was jubilant at the news, though worried for his sisters. He was able to call his older sibling Marion and complain to her about the situation and warn her not to drop them food parcels at the warehouse. She sent their brother Rolland to the warehouse to collect their things and soon enough Harvey was standing in the house living room hugging his sister and trying hard not to cry.  Jim watched, while Rolland and Father Murphy hovered at the peripheral. Jim wondered what it would be like to have devoted siblings like Harvey had; somewhere he was wanted; some place to go once he hit eighteen and was released from supervised care.

 

Marion and Harvey spoke to one another in hushed Gaelic and Harvey was losing the battle with his tears. Marion held his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, paused and looked into his eyes and said, “I _promise_ you. We’ll get you **all** back.” Harvey nodded and hugged her tightly once more. Rolland handed Harvey his back pack and they embraced, granted one another silent nods and then the couple departed. Harvey wiped his tears and Father Murphy placed a hand upon his shoulder.

 

“You want some alone time?”

 

Harvey shook his head. “S’okay. I’ll just put up my things.” He moved toward the house stairs and Jim exchanged glances with Father Murphy and followed Harvey. When he reached the bedroom, he watched Harvey dump the contents of his back pack out into the footlocker at his bed. He glanced over his shoulder at Jim, who smiled sweetly at him and gave a little wave.

 

“I envy you.”

 

Harvey frowned. “Me? Why?”

 

“It’s obvious they both love you very much. I miss that kind of affection from my dad.” It was the most Jim had ever said about Jason Gordon since he had died.

 

“Is he dead?” Harvey asked gently. Jim nodded. Harvey sat down upon his bed and faced Jim. “My mom is too. That’s why I’m in this mess right now. Cancer.”

 

“I’m so sorry.” Jim stood in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. “You were close?” Harvey’s turn to nod. “My dad and I were best friends.”

 

“Us too.” Harvey revealed of his mother. “She was everything, you know? The one that kept us altogether and happy. She did that, and now we have to try and do all it without her. It’s too damn hard.”

 

Jim took his hands out of the front pockets of his jeans and moved to the bed where Harvey sat. He sat down next to him and touched his shoulder to Harvey’s. “I’ve been trying to replicate how I felt when he was alive. I can’t.”

 

Harvey put his arm around Jim’s shoulders and patted his arm. “I think your dad would have liked my mom.”

 

Jim smiled. “How do you know?”

 

“Told you. I’m an excellent judge of character. If he was anything like you? She would have liked him.”

 

Jim’s smile faltered. “He was so much stronger than I am. Smarter; funnier; people loved him.”

 

“And they don’t love you?” Jim shook his head.

 

“My mother and older brother left Gotham without me. I came home from school and,” Jim shrugged. “Your mother only left because she died. She would have stayed otherwise I’m sure.”

 

“That’s cold.” Harvey judged of Nora Gordon’s decision. “Ma would have adopted you.”

 

“Because I have excellent character?”

 

Harvey reached up with the hand around Jim’s shoulders and ruffled his blond hair. “Because she always was a sucker for a hard luck case, and she would have thought you’re freakin’ adorable.” Jim blushed fiercely. “See? Just one word of praise and you’re beet red.”

 

“Stop it.” Jim warned playfully swatting at Harvey’s hand pushing it away from his head. He laughed, and Harvey rested his extended arm against Jim’s back, his hand pushing off the mattress.

 

“How old are you anyway?”

 

“Fourteen. You?”

 

“Waaaaaaaay older than you. I’m fifteen.”

 

“Oh, I see. One year my senior is considered ‘ _waaaaaaaay_ ’ older now?”

 

Harvey bumped Jim from behind with his arm. “Stick with me Junior. I’ll learn you things you never imagined existed.” Harvey smirked, and Jim smiled warmly at him in return.

 

“I’m in.” Jim vowed deciding to take the leap of faith Harvey had mentioned earlier. However, it was to trust in him and not; necessarily; Father Murphy. He would in time, but for now his attention focus was on Harvey. The red headed teen had a way of making Jim feel something he hadn’t in a long time; secure and happy.

 

As the days ticked by Jim learned the routine of the house, the structured days of going to school and coming home to homework and chores. Everyone participated in the upkeep of the home and chores were rotated so everyone learned what required doing and how to perform the tasks.  Harvey blended in the current group of kids very well. He was likable, and Jim watched with envy how easily he navigated interaction with the younger kids as easily as he did the older ones. Jim pretty much remained his shadow through it all, his promise to help Harvey never far from his mind. The thought excited him and got his heart to beat faster in a way that was different than it probably should.

 

For a week, nearly two; Jim had Harvey’s attentions all to himself. Then Declan came to live at the NBH just as Father Murphy had promised. Harvey was overjoyed to see his little brother, show him around the home and help him get settled. He introduced the eleven-year-old to Jim and Declan sized him up immediately, then blindly accepted him because he was Harvey’s friend. Jim even got a hug out of the younger boy when bed time came around to the house. Jim’s only saving grace was that Declan seemed very interested in Father Murphy and fascinated with the possibility of having a surrogate father figure at last. While Declan loved his older brothers, they were still just his brothers and not a ‘dad’. The moments Declan spent in Father Murphy’s company Jim was laying in wait to absorb all of Harvey’s attention. They talked a lot about their deceased parents, as much as Jim was able to communicate. He was not very adept at expressing his feelings though descriptive sentences, he was very private and tight lipped, however Harvey seemed to know how to drag the words out of him somewhat effortlessly.

 

Jim noticed things about Harvey that most boys didn’t notice about their friends. Regular boys didn’t think about their friend’s hands, or lips. Didn’t imagine what it would feel like to cuddle with them beneath the bedcovers. Regular guys didn’t memorize everything their best friend said to them or make a study of the green hue and flex of his gaze. Normal boys didn’t have sexually charged dreams about their best friends, neither did they whisper their best friend’s name when they ejaculated in their morning shower. Jim was terrified that he was not a ‘normal’ or ‘regular’ boy but something else he would cower in fear from stating the word even within his own mind. Especially in his own mind. Jim swallowed down his panic and vowed that it was only a temporary, passing attraction; that it meant nothing. Then Harvey would saunter into the room and Jim’s brain would turn to mush and his eyes glisten with adoration as he gazed longingly at Harvey.

 

If any of the other boys noticed they neither said anything about it, nor teased Jim over it. In fact, most of the boys in the home had as little to do with Jim as possible. He had garnered a reputation of being a by the rules kind of resident and expected the other boys to follow suit. He was not above correcting them or mentioning their behavior to Father Murphy or one of the other home staff members. Harvey categorized him as a ‘tattle tale’ and Jim furiously denied it, that was until Harvey slung an arm around his shoulders and told him that he wouldn’t want Jim to be any other way, that Jim relaxed. Harvey told him that the world needed people that were reminders of ‘law and order’ for the ‘good of their fellow human beings’. Every time Harvey patted his shoulder, put an arm around him or sat close, Jim thought he would stop breathing at any second. He loved the tactile nature of their interactions and lived for them, sometimes eliciting them by standing too close or sitting nearly in Harvey’s lap whenever possible.

 

It was Sunday after church and all the chores had been accomplished so everyone in the home had time to themselves. It was raining outside, the sky dark gray and spewing a chilled rain; forcing everyone to remain indoors. Almost the entire household was downstairs in the main living room playing video games in a competition supervised by Father Murphy. That was, everyone except Jim; he sat on his bed, staring out the window behind it’s headboard at the rain fall. He was feeling pensive and sorry for himself, content to wallow in his misery alone. So, intent upon his rain gazing that he didn’t hear someone enter the room until the bed dipped beside him. Jim startled and turned to look at Harvey’s compassionate features.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Jim angrily bowed his head a little and briskly wiped away his tears with the sleeve of the black, long sleeved, tee shirt he wore. “It’s nothing.”

 

“Nothing doesn’t cause tears.” Harvey argued softly. He smirked at Jim to soothe him. “S’what Ma used to say.” He placed a gentle hand upon Jim’s shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. “I won’t tell anyone.”

 

Jim closed his eyes at the physical contact, shoulder automatically pushing up beneath Harvey’s palm. He opened his eyes as two large tears tumbled past his long eye lashes and down his cheeks. He sniffed and searched Harvey’s gaze for acceptance. “There’s something really wrong inside me.” He revealed just above a whisper. “My Dad and I used to talk about my future; well, he did. There were so many plans he had, so many things he wanted me to do, but,” Jim paused and shook his head, features crumbling once more from a smile to misery. “I’m not going to be the man he was raising me to be. I try now, and I swear I’ll continue to but,” helplessly Jim shrugged, gaze drinking in Harvey, as the older teen’s hand slipped from his shoulder down to rub circles upon his back. “I look at you and I don’t think I can.”

 

Harvey’s form straightened a little and his hand stopped moving upon Jim’s back. “What, what do ya mean, ‘look at me’ and you _can’t_?”

 

Jim pulled his lips into his mouth and looked back out the window wishing he had jumped head first out of the three-story building to his probable death. He shook his head and looked down at his hands which he rested upon his lap. “If I told you, you’d hate me.”

 

Harvey’s brow furrowed. “How could I hate my best friend Junior?” Harvey asked softly. He slid his hand down the length of Jim’s spine to rest at the small of his back. “Just tell me. Whatever it is, we can work it out together, yeah?”  Jim swallowed and wiped more tears from his cheeks with his left hand. He shook his head. “C’mon Jim. Don’t be like this. It’s just you and me here. Would it make it easier if I was standing over there or something?” Harvey motioned at the wall just opposite them. Jim huffed out a breath and shook his head once more. “Then tell me. I’m not good at guessing stuff.”  Jim released his lips from the hold he’d placed on them and slowly raised his head and turned to look at Harvey. He reached up with his right hand and touched Harvey’s cheek gently and then met his eyes. Jim looked from Harvey’s lips to his eyes and back again as realization dawned on Harvey immediately. “Is that _all_?” He asked with a jovial smirk. “You like me?”

 

Jim’s face flushed crimson and he searched Harvey’s expression for an ounce of displeasure. He saw none. “Yeah.”

 

“So, what?” Harvey shrugged as Jim slowly retracted his hand. “You feel what you feel. Why would I be upset about _that_?”

 

“It means that I’m, not _normal_.”

 

Harvey made a flippant noise and nudged Jim with his shoulder. “What’s ‘ _normal’_ anyway? People are people and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.” He shrugged and caught Jim’s gaze by moving his head to illicit eye contact. “There’s no reason to cry about it Jim.”

 

“Yes, there is.” Jim argued sullenly. “You don’t feel the same.”

 

Harvey contemplated his answer for several seconds before responding. “I never said that. You’re putting words in my mouth.” Hope surged behind Jim’s gaze, stopping his tears abruptly. Harvey smiled gently at him and reached out for his right hand. “Listen,” he explained holding Jim’s hand tightly in his own. “I’ve never done anything with a guy before. But, I kinda wanna do stuff with you.” He ran his thumb over the back of Jim’s hand and maintained strict eye contact with the younger teen. “I just don’t know what, or how to start is all.”

 

Jim felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest and he smiled, the expression lighting up his entire face and making Harvey smile as well. “I don’t know how either, but I do know where I’d like us to start.”

 

“Where?”

 

Jim slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Harvey’s for several seconds before pulling back enough to see him. Harvey wasn’t protesting, so Jim leaned forward once again, and this time pushed his lips against Harvey’s once more, surprised when Harvey’s lips parted, and Jim experienced his first ever kiss. The hand Harvey had upon Jim’s back ran up to the center of his spine, hand splayed out between Jim’s shoulder blades. As their kiss evolved Jim encircled one arm around Harvey’s midsection and the other up behind his neck. His fingers closed around some of Harvey’s thick, red, hair and stroked it combing his fingers through.

 

Harvey moaned and pushed forward, causing Jim to lean backwards. Their kisses stopped and reformed before Jim pushed Harvey gently back. “Let me lay down.” He whispered, eyes alight with desire. Harvey rose, watching Jim move his own lust pooling in his crotch. He then moved to lie down along side of Jim and they faced each other and continued their kissing. Hands roamed a little touching shoulders, waists and chests in exploration. Yet still they kissed, Jim’s breath coming fast and urgent. He nuzzled his nose along Harvey’s throat.

 

“Can I kiss you here?”

 

“Yeah.” Harvey implored him arching, allowing his head to fall backward to expose more skin to Jim’s caressing. “Feels really good.” All of it felt good; too good; and Jim felt himself hard as a rock, pushing against Harvey’s leg with his erection. He moaned, and Harvey laughed softly. “Like that do ya? Keep rocking against me then. Feels good to me too.” The two of them pressed together continued kissing until a voice right behind Harvey said,

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

“Holy mother of saints!” Harvey cursed looking back over his shoulder at his little brother. “What does it look like? I’m busy Deck, what do you want?”

 

“I wanted to know if you would to play me on the games downstairs. Everyone else is.”

 

Harvey peeled himself away from Jim long enough to roll of the bed and stand before his little brother. He took Declan by the arms and said, “That sounds like allot of fun, but right now? Jim and I need to hang out for a little while _alone_. How bout I come down in a bit and play you, okay?”

 

Declan frowned. “But my turn is coming up and I want to play you.”

 

“Well buddy, look;”

 

“It’s all right.” Jim said sitting up on the mattress and addressing Harvey and Declan. “If you want to go play a quick game, I can wait.” He smiled tenderly at Harvey. “It’s not like this is a one-time deal or anything.”

 

Harvey grinned at Jim and then turned back to Declan. “Go downstairs, play with the others and I’ll do a game with you on your next turn.”

 

“But,”

 

“Go Declan!” Harvey turned the eleven-year-old in the direction of the door way and gave him a little push. “You can’t always have your way.” The kid protested a little until Harvey glared at him with a serious expression. The child finally relented and left Jim and Harvey alone once more.

 

“I wouldn’t have minded Harvey.”

 

“Yeah? Well I would have. I’m hard as steel over here.” He crawled back into bed with Jim. “Now kiss me. My lips are cold.” Jim laughed and obliged.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim had never been happier in his life. He had a stable home environment that he knew would still be there when he returned home from school. He knew what was required of him daily and knew how to live up to those expectations easily. The best part was that for the first time in his life, Jim was in love. He and Harvey stole whatever moments together they could but were as discrete as they could be given the communal living and circumstances. Their little liaison had not gone unnoticed by Father Murphy and he pulled both boys aside to question them about their relationship and remind them to use protection should they engage in sexual activity, as well as to continue to be discrete for the sake of other boys in the home that might not approve. The two were given additional rules about what would be tolerated and what would not in terms of public declarations and expressions of affection.

 

After the confrontation a red-faced Harvey couldn’t get away from Father Murphy while Jim remained in his presence. Harvey motioned to Jim to follow him, but Jim held up a finger indicating he needed more time. Harvey then opened his arms in supplication and walked away knowing that Jim would follow suit whenever he was ready and come find him. Father Murphy placed a hand upon Jim’s shoulder and asked, “Something more you need to talk about Jim?”

 

Jim shifted in his stance and nodded. “My family wouldn’t be accepting of Harvey and my relationship. Are you just being nice to us because you have to be? Or do you really think it’s wrong?”

 

Father Murphy took a breath and nodded once, sitting down along side of Jim. He withdrew his hand from Jim’s shoulder. “I’m a priest and many in the Catholic Church would condemn such relationships. But as far as I’m concerned? God made us as we are, and it doesn’t matter one whit where someone lays in their sexuality. The truth of it is, it’s nobody’s business except the consenting partners in the union.” Murphy paused and searched Jim’s gaze. “Do you feel like you’re disappointing someone by loving another person?”

 

Jim dropped his gaze to the floor in way of immediate answer then answered, “I told Harvey that there’s something wrong inside of me. He said that it wasn’t a big deal to love another,” Jim paused and swallowed, his tone dropping in volume a little more. “ _boy_.”

 

“Because it isn’t.” Father Murphy reiterated, and Jim raised his head to meet his brown gaze. “Jim, there’s enough hate in this world without you hating yourself for something that’s written in your DNA.” Jim stared at him for a few silent seconds and then Father Murphy asked, “Does Harvey make you happy?”

 

Jim smiled and nodded, affection apparent within his deep, blue eyes. “The happiest I’ve been in my entire life.”

 

“Well, honor that. Cherish and nurture it. Because when it comes down to it; believe in god’s blessing of love or just love itself; bolstering something that pure goes along way in this world.” Father Murphy reached out and patted Jim on the back. “All right?”

 

Jim nodded and the two ended their conversation and parted ways. Jim felt light hearted as he went in search of Harvey. When he found him, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and squeezed him tight, softly thanking him.

 

“What I do?” Harvey asked returning the embrace just as intensely.

 

“Nothing.” Jim replied. “Just being you.”

 

“Good. I can keep doing that easily.” Jim applied pressure once more to their hug and ended it before anyone could catch them.

 

“See that you do.”

 

In the weeks that passed Jim and Harvey’s relationship went from kissing and grinding against one another to a little more physical. There was always the challenge of finding somewhere to be alone for an adequate time, but the two teens did the best they could with the circumstances they were in. Jim and Harvey’s birthdays came and went, their ability to give one another hand jobs shifting to blow jobs in short order. Jim thought his life was perfect except for not having a private place to escape with Harvey too for private talks and sex. It was his largest, most frustrating problem that soon would become a nostalgic longing.

 

Harvey and Declan were leaving the NBH to go home to their older siblings. Sibeal and Tana were already in their care, and all that remained was to have guardianship of Harvey and Declan moved to them. Jim’s heart felt like it was shattering when Harvey excitedly told him the news. He was going home! After embracing Jim and kissing him quickly, the realization of what that meant settled in and Harvey’s joy dipped.

 

“You won’t be living near here, will you?”

 

Harvey shook his head. “But I’m in the same school district still. I can see you there. Every day.” Harvey touched Jim’s face to maintain eye contact. “We’ll figure this out Junior. I promise you, it doesn’t have to ruin or change; anything between us.”

 

Jim hugged Harvey, tears prickling his gaze as he realized it would ruin and change _everything_. Jim was wrong however, and for the next two years their relationship continued. They even managed to spend some time together away from the NBH property, and in Harvey’s room at the apartment tenement where he and his three younger siblings lived. There they made love for the first time and Jim knew it would never be that intense or emotional with anyone else. He didn’t want anyone else; ever. But as his eighteenth birthday loomed he had to talk to Harvey about his intentions of joining the military. They had discussed getting jobs together somewhere in Gotham, getting their own apartment and saving so Jim could go to college. When Harvey was twenty-one he planned on joining the GCPD as his career choice. Their relationship trajectory had been planned and Jim went and threw it all out with his declaration of joining the military. He told Harvey that they would pay for his college with the G.I. bill if he just served a four-year contract. Harvey was livid and hurt that Jim would even consider such an option. He begged Jim not to do it, yet the more he pleaded the more certain that Jim became it was what he was meant to do. They kissed goodbye the day Jim left for boot camp at Camp Pendleton in Southern California. They wrote for the first two years of Jim’s training and deployment, but lost touch after Harvey joined the police academy.

 

Jim experienced his first ever heart break and it changed him. He shut down, kept people at arm’s length and trusted few if anyone. He was still in contact with Father Murphy and sent funds to him every month from his pay, but every letter sent made him miss Harvey more and more. Jim didn’t smile or laugh; joke or do much of anything with his fellow soldiers. He followed the rules, chain of command and expectations. He was no one’s friend, nor did he seek friendship in return. Occasionally he had a physical tryst with one of his fellow soldiers, but romantic entanglements were nonexistent. He carried this way with him long after he had retired from the military after eight years and a college degree in political science, with a minor in business management, later he returned to Gotham. He thought about seeking out Harvey; to see where he was and what he was doing, but at the last moment opted out. He applied to the Gotham City Police Academy just to feel closer to Harvey and have something to do with his time. He found that police work suited him and after three years in uniform he was promoted to detective. He worked a year in in fraud, and six months on the Mayor’s security detail before; at thirty years old; he was assigned to Robbery/Homicide at GCPD headquarters.

 

The department Harvey Bullock worked. They laid eyes upon one another and Harvey turned away while Jim stopped breathing. All the emotions from their previous time together came welling up and Jim nearly fell to his knees with the weight of it. Harvey had a partner named Dix and was working on a task force to catch a serial killer, while Jim was assigned another older detective; who wasn’t on the task force; named Tuttle to work under. Jim tried to contrive a way to speak with Harvey, but at every turn was silently rebuffed. Until after hours he caught Harvey walking to his car in the employee parking lot. His partner had just left his side, when Jim approached him.

 

“Harvey!” Harvey stopped and turned around to look at his previous boyfriend. He held out his palms as if to say, ‘yeah, and?’ awaiting Jim to finish talking. “I,” Jim fumbled for words and searched Harvey’s features for a reaction that wasn’t annoyed. “How, how are you?”

 

“Twelve years and _that’s_ what you say to me?”

 

Jim allowed anger to sweep into his tone. “I would have started with something a little more personal, but you haven’t given me the time of day until now.”

 

“Aww, poor baby.”

 

“Stop it.” Jim snapped his left cheek twitching. “Are you punishing me for leaving? Because I told you they would pay for college. And it was something I had to do, to prove to myself.”

 

“What Jim?” Harvey demanded almost yelling. “What could you possibly have to prove to _anyone_? That you can run away? Well, congratulations, you sure as hell proved that one now didn’t ya!” Jim was about to speak but Harvey cut him off, volume of his voice lowering a little. “We had it all planned out Jim. We would have both worked, saved for your schooling. I was going to join the force, you were going to go to school; all you had to do was wait. And you couldn’t even do that now, could you? You destroyed everything we were building. Why Jim?”  Jim pursed his lips and held the words in his mouth, unable to speak them. Harvey’s gaze narrowed. “That’s how it’s gonna be then? The silent treatment?”

 

“Can we just go somewhere,”

 

“No! Not unless you give me a good reason too. Like, tell me why you left, huh? No?” Harvey made movement to turn away and Jim seized him by the arm. Harvey stopped dead in his tracks and looked from the contact on his arm into Jim’s eyes. “So? What’s it gonna be? Because if you don’t talk, I walk; and there’s not going to be a third chance for you.”

 

Fear flashed behind Jim’s eyes; within his features and he pulled Harvey forward so that he could state in his ear. “I was afraid. Everything was so good that it wouldn’t last. Just like my father, you’d die and I’d be left alone.”

 

“Bullshit.” Harvey argued in the same tone. He pulled back enough to make eye contact. “It wasn’t me dying that scared you. So, what was it?”

 

Jim swallowed. “Harvey,”

 

“Don’t back down now, Jim.” Harvey warned, a spark of hope in his gaze. “ _Tell_ me.”

 

“I loved you, and I didn’t deserve you.” Jim admitted a little breathless as he felt his tears lodge within his throat. “I love you, and I _still_ don’t deserve you, but I’m dying without you. Help me?”

 

Harvey exhaled and closed his eyes as he bent his head forward for several long seconds. He could feel Jim’s grip upon his arm loosening and he took a breath and opened his eyes, looking up at Jim once more. “What happens when you get scared again?” Jim shook his head and shrugged. Harvey pointed a finger at him. “If you run from me again? That’s it. Game over. Understand?”  Jim nodded as tears poked his gaze. “All right, come on. I’ll take you home with me.”

 

Jim withdrew his hand and had a difficult time taking a breath around the emotions clogging his throat. “You forgive me?”

 

Harvey nodded and responded tenderly, “Do you forgive yourself?”

 

Jim realized that he would have to try, and he nodded replying, “I will.”

 

Before either of them could say anything else, Jim took Harvey’s face in his hands and surged forward, his mouth claiming Harvey’s. It was like a switch was flipped between them, all the years apart vanishing as they clung to one another kissing. Harvey moaned softly, and Jim nearly choked upon a sob. There were a couple of degrading comments from passers by and Jim made to jerk away, but Harvey held him fast with his own hands and yanked him against his larger body. Jim relaxed into his embrace and continued kissing him with everything he felt, everything he was, and everything he wanted them to be. Harvey had forgiven him and that was all that mattered. Jim felt their new beginning was just on the horizon and together they would shape it into something even more beautiful then what they once shared.


End file.
